White women's opinion of black women & a brother's response

Please take a moment and read this. Pretty Deep!

Thumbs up to this black man.Enjoy.

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!

Dear Jamie:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black malereaders. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantlyapproached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.

Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jo nes, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney, Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius , Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA

RESPONSE

Dear Jamie:I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta , Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job a t a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women.

Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control.

A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control.I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight.

I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stopthinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.Read your history!It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers,husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman........And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could> never> date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks.

If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin?Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts withunnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children.Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Black Royalty

Reflecting..PT 2...Moving Forward

Reflecting- To give evidence of the characteristics or qualities of someone or something

You're the only one I wish I could forget

The only one I love to not forgive

And though you break my heart

You're the only one

Broken Hearted by Beyonce

We begin with the process of accepting things for what they are. So now that we have released all those ill thoughts, negative tension. Have you let it go?

Now what? Where do you go from here is now your choice. Not decision because based on your next action, your life can either blossom or stagger. You can’t keep asking where you went wrong. You now look forward to what lies ahead.

Do you take time out to know the importance of what is needed? Of true self? Yes. I did. A long time! Yes, I know (some still don't believe me), to just reflect on who you are. And for the record, best decision I've ever made. (Well besides being saved) We forget about the little things when trying to please another, or too focused on what this and that one is doing.

Have you ever felt that all you do is give and give? Or think what happen to me? Why is this happening to me? But why not let it happen to you. These experiences are the most rewarding you will ever get out of life. It strengths you, encourages you, uplifts you. Its like breathing fresh air.

Take this moment and ask yourself these questions: what makes you laugh? Cry? (Besides a break-up) what are your likes? Dislikes? Do you know? Once you come to the conclusion of those questions, watch and see this person blossom into the person you need to be. I call it the butterfly effect. For what was just a little bit, after nourishment and love becomes a beautiful creature.

Can I tell you a secret? A man I've known for almost my entire life just found out my likes and dislikes. That says a lot doesn't it? Some are just so absorbed in their own s*** that they never sit back and just appreciate the minor things in life.

That is probably one of the saddest parts of ones being, to not reflect on all the things, past, present, and near future. To just embrace it with open arms. Not saying this will be an easy process, but it’s your test. Feeling trapped in your own being, not knowing what tomorrow holds, depending on others for critics. This can put an individual down. True story.

But there is always room for improvement but there has to be improvise, because no matter what age, learning is a process that should truly be appreciated. Its a great feeling to know something that you just didn't know a second ago. To share your experiences and thoughts with others. To one day know that your story will be another’s encouragement.

That's when you know you have released the situation, the people,the confusion.

INTERESTING INTERVIEW....

This interview was very informative. It brought depth to those that don't know who Lil Wayne is. Brought a different aspect as to the "Bad Ass". In all, even my co-worker who, when listens to him on the radio makes me change the station, saw a different light to him. She said " he's actually quite an intelligent man". Now I started laughing, only because if you knew her..Let's just say, very OLD school...LOL... I guess it's true what they say, "You can't JUDGE a book by its COVER. Can't wait to see his performance at the grammys.

RESENTMENT PT...1...Releasing

"I only give you a hard time
Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment"

Resentment by Beyonce

Resentment- Indignation or ill will felt as a result of a real or imagined grievance

So I was listening to resentment by beyonce and saw a million females' faces just flash before my eyes. Now that's a word that beats hate...a word I can't stand...So why hold on to that pain? When is it time to let go? Move on for the king or queen that awaits you? I find it FUNNY that we speak of forgiveness but seem to never FORGET? Why? What's the purpose to keep on digging up things that obviously occurred because the relationship was "IMMATURE"? Yes that's a good word to sum it up. We as females expect the world from a man, but ladies, let's be real for one moment in our lives! Can you give back what you receive? And men, why do you tend to treat your queen like a 20%, when she's the 80%? Why do we,(as females) want the big house, the man with the good job, the respect, yet our credit is bad, working a 9 to 5 that we're just not happy with and don't even respect OURSELVES. When did we just SETTLE because man is suppose to provide. Whose rules are those? SOCIETY has set these rules for all to follow. Is this real? The way it should be instead of making it the way you WANT it to be. So when things are not going our way, we pout and fuss, like a child. Cry because he cheated, lied about his whereabouts the night before. Why? And LADIES let's bring up your skeletons! Cause we all know females are bigger liars, and sneaky as s***. You want appreciation: fine, loyalty: understandable, but ask yourself this: if you know of the negative in the relationship why keep going through it? Yes I know COMFORTABILITY.. And when things go wrong we hold onto it, over and over again replaying the same scenario, but get upset the next time history repeats itself. WTF!!! So why complain and say you've been hurt over and over again. When in all you don't want to move on. You don't trust the next, or you just get too attached too fast because you have no clue how to deal. We hold grudges and are always anger, RESENT the next who can possibly be the one chosen for you because you just can't let go!!!! Now I'm one of the pickyest females I have ever come across. I like a certain man and obtain certain qualities that can attribute to who I am. Now knowing what I can and can not bring forth, why not just embrace it for what it is? I know why? We want stability, devotion, admiration. But are you ready for these traits? Can you see yourself just letting go of all the pain, the heartache, the negativity that has brought you to where you are today? If you said YES, then go ahead, live your life. But if no, figure out what needs to be mended in order for you to open up again. Because we all know its hard for us to just get over it, truth be told, its harder for a man to accept letting go. But his emotions will not allow him to not let go. I think we blame others for the choices we make, but you make your bed, when will you begin lying in it and own up to face the fact that only you can be your DOWNFALL.